Evil, thy name is Orange March 11, 2007
Posted by blimeylimey in the trivial stuff.2 comments
I think it’s a cruel trick of nature that sometimes the things you need the most are the ones that are the most painful. To ward off a dodgy cankersore that has been signaling its intentions of growing into a full blown entity, I decided to eat a couple oranges. I thought I was playing it safe with a couple of clementines. In my entire orange-eating career in London, I’ve yet to come across a sour Clementine. Satsumas and navels, maybe..but clementines?! never! So I’m just sitting there, nonchalant, and I push the first slice into my mouth and suddenly I feel this sharp sting on my tongue. Tears well up in my eyes, and I’m like, great of ALLL the times to run into a sour orange, I pick today. But I dind’t want to waste it so I forced myself to sit here, clutching an orange, sadly pushing slices into my mouth, bracing myself for the sour aftereffect, and twitching with each tang of sourness. Because I am a sucker for punishment and torture, I decide one isn’t enough, I needed to pump my tongue so full of vitamin c that the cankersore would regret having ever been born. Just as I dig my finger into the second orange, I am awarded with a stream of orange juice that hits me smack squarely in the forehead. My orange spit at me! But I taught it who’s boss by eating it. So who’s laughing now huh!!! Ok, I think I’ve been holed in my room for way too long. Anyway, I have a question. Is it considered disloyal if I don’t predict that UCLA will win on my bracket? Or stupid?
